What are you working on?
i really, really struggle with art’s relationship to the ego, which, in its fragility, creates an illusion of scarcity; viz., "I am the only artist making the only art, a method which I invented while living in a fully-furnished vacuum of, you guessed it, my own creation. (And I have to keep saying this, otherwise I will melt.)" it makes me feel not cut out for being an artist in any kind of public way. because i feel most whole when my ego dissolves, when i am purely giving/ sharing/ touching someone who needs to be touched. i think a lot about platonic touch, how rarely we are held by someone who is not asking anything of us (one of many reasons why i am obsessed with people who do hair). i do think art has the capacity to platonically touch, to look in the eyes, to create ego’s opposite abundance. i need to at least hope that it can. so i am working on making art that will maybe convince me. this includes writing letters and emails and poems to and with friends, especially my dear friend, scientist and writer nivretta thatra, continuing my work as an experimental critic, which is how i first started publishing, and also creating (ooh! this is the first time i’ve talked about this ~publicly) a kooky video interview series with my pal and photographer nadia davoli. because this is supposed to be fun! and i have choked way too many times on the implication — vibrationally similar to pretending to forget someone’s name in high school — that because this “person” in the ““scene”” doesn’t know who i am, i am not worth knowing! i want to shudder-dance the gross off my body! like a big and soaking dog!
No comments:
Post a Comment